It may not be Murphy's rule but it sure is a Bikers rule "If it has tits or wheels, sooner or later it will let you down". Just a matter of time now.
Tits and Wheels patch is embroidered in white over black, measures 4x2 inches.
I am a biker and spend a lot of time riding around on my bike. I have a cool biker jacket which I have adorned with many embroidered patches. To say my bike is the love of my life would be an understatement. I have had bikes since I was eighteen and they are my real pleasure in life.
Don't get me wrong, I have a girlfriend too but she knows my bike comes first. Luckily she likes bikes too and enjoys riding around on my motorcycle with me whenever she gets the chance.
As I was saying my jacket is full of biker patches which all mean something to me. I have patches with colourful designs and some which are just plain black and white with funny sayings. My latest one is one of the best ones I've bought to be honest. It gave me quite a chuckle when I was putting it on the sleeve of my jacket but when I showed it to my girlfriend she wasn't too impressed.
The patch I bought this time was the My Other Toy Has Tits Patch. I really thought this was funny but she didn't really take it too well. She said the reference to her as being a toy was degrading and she didn't like it at all.
Well the way I see it is it's only a bit of fun and I don't mean it really but she asked me to remove the patch. Well can you see where I was torn here? I didn't want to really upset her but I didn't think it was such a big deal. I've seen worse patches and this one was just a joke. So I refused because I thought she was being over sensitive and making too big a deal out of it.
Well was I sorry I didn't just take the patch off or maybe just place it somewhere less conspicuous like the inside of my jacket! Besides the fact that she didn't speak to me for about a week, she also decided to get her own back on me and bought her own patch.
I came home from work one Friday night and had my shower and got ready for our trip out on the motorcycle. I put my jacket on and was still chuckling about the patch on my arm. I should have known something was amiss when my girlfriend appeared smug and did not scowl as she normally did when she say the patch. Just as we were about to head out the door she went to get her own leather jacket which I might add never had any patches on it previously.
So as we were heading out the door she turned her back to me and there on the back of her jacket, taking pride of place was a patch, obviously directed at me. She had gone and bought herself the My Other Toy Has A Dick Patch. I felt degraded and humiliated! What if any of my friend's saw this on her jacket! And to make matters worse, she just refused to take it off.
Women are the bane of my life! No matter what you do for them it's never enough. I have been let down by women all my life. That is why I found a great patch for my jacket at TheCheapplace.com. The 'If It Has Tits Or Wheels Sooner It Will Let You Down Patch' is fantastic and this has become my motto in life.
We all know that our bikes can't last forever and that one day they will let us down but are we all so sure about the women in our lives. To be perfectly honest, I have been let down hard by every single woman in my life. Every time I try to make a go of it with someone, you can guarantee things won't work out and every single time it is down to the lady.
Now if you are a lady reading this, you will probably be thinking 'asshole' but it's true. Take my Mom for example. She left home when I was nine years old to go off with some dude she met in work. I was NINE YEARS OLD for Christ's sake. Can you imagine what that does to a kid? My dad was devastated and it took him years to start living again. Meanwhile my brother and I had to carry on watching him sinking deeper and deeper into depression.
So that was that and even though we were affected by her deserting us, we managed to get through school ok and luckily we both got good jobs. So having had a few girlfriends throughout school and college who messed me about, I finally met the love of my life, my wife. Or so I thought. We were married for five years when I came home one day to find that she had taken all her belongings and moved them out of the house!
She has moved in with her gay lover! What the hell is going on there? Am I cursed? Surely this can't be hereditary and I am destined to take this shit for my whole life. Well I'm beginning to think I did something really bad in a past life. Why can't I be happy for a while?
That was about six months ago when she left and my friends have been trying to get me out and about since then. I know they mean well but trying to set me up with every good looking chick that walks by is not what I want right now. I want to steer clear of the female species for quite a while as I can't face getting kicked when I am down. On the other hand, maybe I should just play the field for a while and not give a shit at all. But to be honest I am not that kind of guy. All I really want is to settle down and have kids with someone who loves me too. Now I'm getting all soppy.
With my buddies on a mission to get me and another chick fixed up fast, I decided that another patch was on the agenda. This one I bought just for them and it sums up how I feel. The 'No Matter How Good She Looks Patch' is perfect. It actually reads, 'No matter how good she looks, someone somewhere is tired of her shit'. And this couldn't be truer! Patches For Down And Out Guys
